Stupid Things You Should Not Say

November 2, 2020 by No Comments

We talked about the proper use of “sudden humor,” along the lines of the iconic “and Leon’s getting laaaaaarger” scene in the classic Airplane.

Sudden humor is not easy to pull off, but if you can, you can get an uproarious laugh like no other. It should be used sparingly, but use it right, and it is very effective.

Jimmy Johnson, former coach of the Cowboys (successful) and Dolphins (not) has a saying I have always thought to be very perceptive: “winning championships comes down not to the good plays you make, but to the bad plays you don’t make.” In other words, it’s more important to avoid bad plays (Jason Garrett, pay attention to your old coach) than it is to make good ones.

Humor is the same way. If you want to be known as a guy who makes people laugh (a very attractive skill) it is just as important to AVOID being not funny as it is to be funny.

There’s nothing less attractive than a guy trying to be funny who doesn’t know he’s not funny at all, and that will always trump any humorous things he may bumble into.

This is the art of having something potentially funny pop into your head, and quickly processing it to see if it’s funny or not before you say it. If it is, you say it, if not you don’t. Yes, this takes practice, and instances of being not funny, but once you have the skill it is priceless.

For example, there is a dumbass saying going around involving points scored in a game, i.e. “oh, they dropped a fifty burger on them.” People have started to repeat this, and I heard one idiot in the media today use the term “an 80 burger.”

That ain’t funny. It’s stupid. There’s no irony, no inside joke, no reference to past history, no subtleties, no dryness, nothing that makes up an element of humor. It doesn’t even sound funny, nor can it be made to sound funny. It’s dumb, and therefore it should be avoided, especially now that the sports media is using it and chortling over how clever they are.

It is a stupid thing you should avoid saying, yet useful because you can see why it is not funny, and why it will never be. There is a structure to its “un-funniness” and when you identify that structure you can apply it to other sayings, avoiding those that are terminally not funny.

It is definitely true that women love men who can make them laugh. Part of making a woman laugh is the avoidance of things that make her think she’s talking to a choad. Master the art of avoiding the unfunny, and the only choads will be all the guys around you, wondering why you’re so damn hilarious and they are so not.

Useful Resources:

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