“Girlfriend” Is Just a Word

May 1, 2026 by Andrew Small No Comments

I know what you are saying Moxie and I don’t expect him to be a virgin when I’m thousands of miles away. But he did call me his girlfriend and he did say he loved me. While I told him I was disgusted at him having sex with someone else HOURS before he was with me, I was more upset by the emotional connection with another woman. That he led her to believe too that they had something special. In some ways watching someone sleep, eat and iron is more personal than sex. – Marshmallow

As I said to Marshmallow in response to her guest post, the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” don’t really mean anything. They are just titles. They are words we use to encapsulate or describe a certain kind of dynamic between two people. Calling someone your girlfriend is a hell of a lot easier than saying, “She’s this woman that I see from time to time and that I have sex with.”

Here’s a different way to describe it. When you’re making a photo copy of something, most of us typically say that we’re “Xeroxing” something. The machine itself probably isn’t a Xerox brand. But the term “xeroxing” is a way we associate the action with a commonly known product. That way we don’t have to go in to a deeper or longer explanation.

Calling someone your girlfriend or boyfriend is similar. It implies something, but often times what the term implies is not accurate.

A man can call a woman his girlfriend, even though they’ve never explicitly discussed monogamy, exclusivity or long term goals. The man knows that the use of the word alludes to a certain level of commitment. Most men don’t throw this word around liberally, as they know it’s a verbal contract of sorts. They use it sparingly and correctly. But others, like the guy in Marshmallow’s story, use it quite casually. It’s a manipulative tactic employed for her benefit. He knows how she interprets the word. It appeals to the woman’s romantic side. The side that counts and documents milestones. The side that likes to insert the word “boyfriend” into her status updates, tweets and in conversations with friends. (See an interesting article here about how women use the words boyfriend and husband as bragging rights.) Use of the word provides the woman with a sense of superiority amongst her female friends, and certain men know that and use it to their advantage.

Unless there is an explicit agreement between the two people that they do not wish to date or sleep with anyone else, then the terms “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” are simply titles that can be used for bragging rights and nothing more. Someone who tells you that they aren’t dating anyone else because they are too busy is not saying they are exclusively dating/sleeping with you.

Also not very reliable is when you have to badger a man in to agreeing to allow you to call him your boyfriend. Warning to any man that finds himself in this position. I can remember reading a conversation one between a man and a woman. They had been dating about a month. The woman had recently been dumped by another guy and was clearly trying to make that guy jealous, because the minute the other man agreed to be called her boyfriend, she hopped on to Twitter to make a “formal announcement.” Of course, they broke up a couple weeks later. She didn’t really want a boyfriend. She just wanted to say she had a boyfriend. The word didn’t really mean anything. It was what the word implied that mattered. Behavior like this makes a woman very, very vulnerable to predatory guys.

One thing that worked against Marshmallow is that she saw the women fawning all over him on his Facebook page and questioned him about them. Right there, she played her hand and demonstrated her insecurity and competitiveness with other women. He had her. While I don’t think the guy in her story is crafty or even smart enough to come up with some master plan to manipulate her, he certainly knew what buttons to press. And pressed them and played into her insecurities. Calling her his girlfriend is a great way to soothe her, thereby making her more manageable. That’s the point of using these words. For control.

These are the types of loopholes that women need to look for when getting to know a man. A man with true intentions says exactly what he means, succinctly and concisely. In fact, the more he says, the more likely he is just trying to bamboozle you with words.

References:

Direct Dating Game Vs. Indirect Dating Game

What Drives Girls Crazy

Don’t Fear Marriage: The Manosphere’s Mixed Messages

I Don’t Kiss On The First Date

The Dating Game Vs Girl Game

Girl’s Startle Easily

Independence Day

Bill Maher’s Strange Sudden Feminist Outcry Against Jackie O

The Average Frustrated Chump Mantra

Naysayers About Game Be Damned

Typical Vancouver Women Diss Men, I Take Them To Task