The Avengers
So, this is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. I loved it. If you didn’t like it, don’t comment. Also, not liking this movie is a pretty good sign that you like the cock. I decided it would be awesome to break down the avengers on the scale – so here it goes!
Tony Stark/Iron Man – Super Alpha – Self described “Billionaire playboy philanthropist” Tony Stark is a super alpha. The man commands every room with a sort of careless abandon. If you notice in the movie, he is the only avenger mentioned by name on the newscast and he is always butting heads with the group’s leader, Captain America. Tony has been shown in previous films bedding any chick he wants and has a romance plot with the incredibly super fucking hot Pepper Potts (it’s odd because Paltrow isn’t that attractive, but in these movies I spend every scene with her in it thinking about how bad I want to rail her).
Hawkeye – Sigma – Hawkeye is a classic sigma. Short spoken, commanding – but dark – presence, likes to be by himself and watch situations as opposed to being directly involved. When we first meet his character in the movie he is sitting alone above the tesseract project keeping watch over it – sigma tendency to not be involved in the goings on but still maintaining an interest in being a general part of it. A happy loner and voluntary outsider.
Thor – Gamma – Eh, Thor is a gamma. He’s pretty average as far as guys go, readily submits to strong frame and command, most likely because he’s out of place on Earth. Labeled him a Gamma because he’s very idealistic, romantic, but not very practical – a strong gamma tendency. This is showcased when he says he is the Earth’s protector and Loki scoffs, “Oh great job you’re doing there! The humans tear themselves apart with war while you idly fret!” Gamma.
Loki – Omega – He’s the villain, of course he’s an omega! No one likes Loki and he spends the movie trying to destroy and subjugate humanity. Dude is pretty much a fag.
Nick Fury – Alpha – Plain and simple, dude is an Alpha. He also curses more than any other character in the movie, classic Sam Jackson.
Black Widow – HB9 – I would bang the shit out of Scarlett Johansson.
I think its her lips that do it for me.
Bruce Banner – Sigma – Bruce Banner is your typical sigma. Content to do his own thing away from everyone else. Unlike Hawkeye who displays a good amount of delta tendencies when it comes to group interaction, Bruce Banner displays alpha characteristics among a group (true sigma tendency is to take social control). He also gets along well with Tony, they have a connection. This is another huge point for sigmas: They bond with alphas. Alphas and sigmas are like two oppositely charged magnets, complimentary.
The Incredible Hulk – Super Omega – Everything in his path is turned into chaos and destruction. His entire existence is fueled by rage; he is explained by Banner as being a “big, raw nerve.” Half the damned movie spent tip toeing around Banner just to avoid Hulk. When he does appear, anyone that happens to be standing directly in front of him will receive the brunt of his rage.
Captain America – Super Galactic Hyper Titan Alpha – Seriously, the dude brings alphaness to a whole new level. He manages to tame The Hulk, a demi-god and reign in the unruly and self-absorbed Tony Stark, who turns into a beta around him by the end of the movie. He never backs down from his positions and isn’t afraid to confront anyone about anything. Despite the fact that he’s 70 some odd years out of place, he doesn’t ever look uncomfortable. He very much takes things in stride. However, just because he takes things in stride, doesn’t mean he lets himself become a door mat. At one point in the movie, Black Widow says to him, “You might want to sit this one out, Captain. Those men are gods.” To which Cap replies,
“There is only one God, Ma’am – and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.”
Captain America is the core of this movie and – in my opinion – the best part. He represents a time in America when it was okay to be a man, be a good person, and stand up for what you believe in. He represents a time when patriotism was cool, when it was good to support your country and have firm beliefs and values – when morality was considered a virtue. He acts now as a herald, calling us back to a time when we were great, when we had a firm moral heading, where masculinity was praised, and society was peaceful. A time when you knew your neighbors, weren’t scared to let your kids play outside, and trusted the strangers you interacted with. It is the community and familial bonds that made our country so strong – we all loved and cared for each other, we were all American: United by that beautiful flag. Captain America represents all of that: Heroism, patriotism, strength, and virtue. He calls us all to stand up and be better than we are, and gives us an image – if fictional – to try and emulate.
But then again, as one of my friends said to me today, I “just have a thing for America.”
This was a fantastic movie and I give it a ten out of ten. Go see it if you haven’t!
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