What is Seductive?
I asked my boyfriend the other night what he found seductive about a woman. He said that many “types” of women can be seductive in their own way. He said all of them have a unique appeal but it’s the total package that most men are looking for. Not surprisingly he mentioned the popular archetypes of seductresses we’ve all seen in movies or have read about in literature.
Librarian– She isn’t the typical seductress. She doesn’t exactly set out to seduce by being demure, aloof, quiet and smart. But men often find her seductive anyway, because the fantasy is to corrupt her. He wants to bring the fire out from underneath her conservative, prudish clothes. He imagines how fun it would be to unwind that tight bun and see her hair messed up from hot sex.
The Siren– She’s not afraid of the power of her sexuality. She wears it on her sleeve and uses it to her advantage. Men feel more masculine just being in her presence. Their senses are heightened, the air around her is sexually charged. She may be vulnerable like Marilyn Monroe, or strong like Mae West, but she’s always sensual, oozing femininity and sex appeal. She couldn’t help it if she tried.
The Temptress– She is naughty. She has little regard for boundaries. She’s looking to receive and give pleasure pure and simple. Her power lies in the promise of a most memorable sexual experience, the possibility of getting caught, throwing caution to the wind, doing something wild. She represents escape and is willing to deliver.
The Coquette– She is a master at keeping a man in a state of wanting more by vacillating between hot and cold behavior. The prize is always just around the corner, just out of reach so he pursues all the more. His competitive nature keeps him focused on winning the game; he wants to conquer her.
Any one of these types can turn a man’s head. She may get his attention in the moment or for awhile. But what my boyfriend said and what I believe to be true for most men, is they want the total package.
A woman who is sexy, yes, but also smart, funny, confident and well rounded. She takes care of herself, mind and body. She knows who she is and doesn’t change herself to fit someone else’s ideal.
The total package in his words….
The Total Package
“The right mix of intelligence, sexiness, character, quick wit and confidence.
She’s the kind of woman who keeps a man’s attention not for a moment, but for a lifetime.”
Seduction in Practice (who knew?)
Later that evening at dinner we were engaged in a conversation where I knew all the facts and details about a particular issue that he knew little of. Quite common in relationships because partners don’t always share the exact same passions or interests. How boring if we did…
He began playing devil’s advocate taking the opposing position and we had a healthy, lively debate where I, having all the knowledge of the topic, could easily win each argument he presented.
Suddenly he stopped and pointed his index finger at me and stated:
“That is hot.”
“What?” I asked.
He smiled, “When you have more knowledge than me about something and can explain it so well. I love debating with you and learning all the facts about a topic that you are passionate about. That is seductive.”
I finally got it, or rather let myself believe what he was saying….as women we tend to rely heavily on our outward sex appeal. We forget how our intellect, our passions, our unique talents can be seductive as well.
It never occurred to me that our conversation could be turning him on…
The way we carry ourselves and dress and flirt are important aspects of our seductive selves and this blog will celebrate all of those things, even looking to the secrets of the seductive archetypes above, but seduction is so much more.
You can’t fake it.
You can’t go through the motions of what you “think” being seductive is and be believed.
You have to believe it first yourself.
Being Seductive is not what you do but who you are.
What do you think? Click the comments link, I’d love to hear from you…
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