Marriage and Children – What You Should Know
This is a question that is posed by many marriage counsellors seeking to bestow some guidance for young couples in developing relationships to ensure they become more resilient with time, especially during the period they decide to pursue marriage and children. It is a sensitive subject that must be agreed upon by both partners if future conflicts are to be avoided.
As far as it goes, there are couples who were happily married that ended up ruining their relationship due to poor family planning coupled with indecisiveness; whether or not they would like to have children in their lives. Both partners are encouraged to openly speak about marriage and children to ensure they are on the same track. After all, circumstances are constantly changing and so are their opinions and desires.
Marriage and children – How many?
It is not always easy in the early stages of a marriage for couples to decide how large they want their families to be.
Raising a child is not an easy job. Along with the obvious sleepless nights, constant visits to the doctor, effects on employment and business and so on, a child can also be a drain on a family’s financial resources.
Usually a couple doesn’t appreciate all these implications until they have a child. In the end, a desire to have a family of three or four children often becomes one or two.
Marriage and Children-Effects
Romance and Intimacy
Being a parent or having a child in the family can be a tiring responsibility, but of course it brings rewards as well. One of the most difficult things than can crop up is when the parent’s lack of romance and intimacy start affecting their children’s lives. Likewise, it is very important that parents should not let their intimate relationship be affected by the children’s needs and wants.
Parents are advised to frequently demonstrate their love to each other as well as declare their love to their children. This is an essential component in the process of child nurturing that will lead them to become happy and more rounded children. These relationships have been known to have a positive impact throughout the children’s lives.
A marriage that is devoid of tender loving care may lead the children to relate insensitively with others and might spur them to pursuing unhealthy relationships in the future in a bid to compensate for their unpleasant childhoods.
The majority of parents say that relationships with kids are still the most fulfilling aspects of their lives. Sadly, there are several cases that these relationships have been more fulfilling than the actual marriage.
The existence of children doesn’t guarantee a happy or successful marriage. The sad fact is that children have been known to end many marriages. They add stress to marriages and worsen already unstable relationships.
It is very rare for a couple to have the same opinion in every aspect of raising a child concerning the relationship. Many relationship problems and tensions are caused by indifference when it comes to disciplining children when both parents have different attitudes towards discipline.
Parents need time to themselves
Both parents must ensure that they spend enough time together as a family in order to maintain and cherish their marital relationship despite all the difficulties they face as a couple.
As much as possible a couple should have at least 30 min a day to catch up on the day’s events while having a quiet drink together. This will help strengthen the relationship and increase the vigour in them thus making them better parents.
Divorce and Kids
When a married couple decides to call it quits and end their relationship, it is not advisable to turn to divorce without sufficient cause. This can adversely affect the psychological trauma of their children and can affect their emotions both at home and at school.
The divorce or separation of parents doesn’t mean that their obligation and responsibility ends. They are still required to supply the basic wants and needs of their children until they are of legal age.
Organising a parenting plan to enable you have access to your children on a regular basis is the right way to go. This will help with the most important aspect of parenting that connects marriage and children, which is staying involved in your children’s lives.
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