(Some) Geeks are Afraid of Women

December 22, 2020 by No Comments

My friend Derek sent me this link and I thought, “wow, what a great thing to blog about!”

It is true – gay men don’t have the hang-ups about approaching women that straight men do. “We gay boys were simply relating to girls as equals — sharing stories, plotting fan clubs, and making scrapbooks.” Gay men approach a woman as an interesting person; straight men approach women as a possible mate and with all the hang-ups and insecurities related to her possible reaction to them. “The point is that your early relationships with girls rested on expectations that you had no right to form in the first place.” Amen, gay boi. Amen.

I had an acquaintance in college who was never without a girlfriend. He was one of those “Flavor of the Month” type guys – every time you saw him, a new girl was on his arm. He wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous and to be frank, he had the common sense of a block of concrete. Why did he always have a girl? His guy friends finally figured it out one day. A “normal” single guy only pursues a girl or two every month. Ethan, however, asked out just about every girl he met. It’s a numbers game.

As far as online dating, I know many guys who will look at a girl’s profile and say, “Oh, she’s too pretty, she wouldn’t like me.” They’ll dismiss a girl who seems perfect for them because they are letting their insecurities dictate their actions. “She probably has tons of guys better looking than me emailing her.” How do you know? She might not receive much email at all. She might have a thing for a guy with a fur sweater for a chest. She might think bald is sexy. You can’t assume her likes or dislikes based on her profile picture. (Now if she gets specific in the words in her profile, that’s another story!)

The best approach to online dating is to cast your net wide. Email all women who pique your interest and whose basic criteria you meet. Worst case scenario – you hear nothing back or get a polite “No Thanks” email. What have you lost? Nothing. What have you gained? Out of the 20 women that you email, there may be one or two who are interested in you and will write you back.

What do you write? That’s something we’ll discuss soon! Want help NOW? One-on-one help is available if you hire me!

Useful Articles:

Loveawake Norway

I’d Like A Woman To Email ME For Once!

Top 10 Reasons Why She Doesn’t Respond to Your Email on a Dating Site

First Contact Emails: Don’t Thunder Toward The Castle At Full Speed

Words With Results: Loveawake Gives Us First-Contact Facts

Online Dating Etiquette 101: Don’t Cut-N-Paste Emails

Mistakes Guys Make in Online Dating Personal Ads

How to Impress a New York Girl

Why OkCupid Is NOT Ok

Mistakes Geeks Make in Online Dating Profiles

Tooting Your Horn Without Bothering The Neighbors

Childfree By Choice: Online Dating Profile Considerations and Conundrums

What Color Flag Are You Waving?

The Pros and Cons of Talking Money In Online Dating Profiles

On-Line Dating Versus Blind Dating

Your friends have decided to use the old-school way of meeting potential mates. They are fascinated with the notion of “arranged marriages” which is still a custom in the “old country”. You will be the guinea pig, since you are the oldest of your buddies. They are concerned with your single status and have talked you into accepting some blind dates they have set up for you.

You arrive to your first blind date. Your friend told you that Jack is a great catch, and “kind of cute”. You are at the restaurant door and a big guy walks over to you. He introduces himself to you as “Jack”. The girls did not tell you that Jack looks like Baby Huey. You both go back to the table where Jack had been waiting for you.

As you begin talking, you realize that Jack knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim. You haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help those people, anyway.

You are so bored you begin thinking of how you could make as polite an exit as possible. Jack is a sweet guy and you two could be friends but you really don’t see thing going much beyond friendship. He seems to be very interested in you though, and you are happy that at least guys still find you attractive.

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time.

Many on-line services will not only allow you to see a picture, exchange emails and converse over the phone with someone where there is mutual interest, but with some, you can also see a video of your potential friend. Before you meet in person, you have been talking for a while, you know each other, and have now both decided to take the next logical step, a physical meeting.

Before you meet you already know that, he is a health and fitness nut and so are you. He is a family guy and loves children and so do you. He wants to one day have a family of his own, and so do you. You cannot believe, once the date is over, where all the time went.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend setting you up and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there?

Which choice will you make?

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