June 18, 2021 by No Comments

I love getting fan mail. A young man from the USA asked me an interesting question. “Dear single guy. How do you deal with being single and being lonely?”

I have to admit that I was not ready for that type of questions…anal hygiene…yes… STIs…yes….questions about my bad grammar and spelling possible. But this was one of those interview type questions where I have to pause and try to come up with an answer. Lonely. It’s a word I do not like…cause it expresses a feeling I do not like. And yes, being single does mean feeling lonely sometimes.

When I came out to my mother she was worried about two things: HIV and me being lonely. Although there are treatments for HIV, no scientist or doctor has found a treatment for being lonely. The treatment (love, relationship, companionship) is hard to come by for some. Some never get that cure.

Many of the calls I get on the phone line are from lonely and older gay men. I must admit I worry about being lonely in my old age when all my friends have past away and my niece and nephew are too busy to look after an “old queen.” But that is probably a fear shared by my single girl friends. What will happen then? I suspect there will be a number of nursing homes for those single in the city.

Getting back to the question. Dear young reader. Single people do get lonely. It’s not easy. But luckily when you are single..you have lots of time to join activities (volunteer), make friends and spend time with your family. And you will probably meet a lot of single people…so if you are lonely and others are lonely …then you are not really lonely.

I have been lucky that I have made some wonderful friends in Australia. I miss my family dearly but I’ve formed an urban family…many of them single…and they also feel lonely. So when I do feel lonely..I just ring them up and we vent about our singlehood…that or I find a shag to feel less lonely:(

You are never single. You always have yourself. And that in the end is probably the best relationship..and longest one you will have with yourself.


















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