How to Get Your Guy to Dance with You

February 3, 2021 by No Comments

This weekend, I made a fantastic discovery that has rocked my world. Mr. C and I went out with a small group of my friends to Austin’s local bars and clubs. After spending half an hour annihilating virtual animals on Big Buck Hunter (I get real Texan when I go home to Austin. I don’t condone hunting in real life!), the dancing bug hit me. Girly drink in hand, I mosied up to Mr. C and started dancing with him—well, more like dancing on him. He stood there motionless and grinning at me like he always does. Then I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, “Move. Your. Hips.” And he did! That’s when I discovered:

My boyfriend can dance!

After six months of dating, three of which were spent in person seeing each other several times a week, we had never danced together. In fact, we had never even drank together except for the wine-tastings we did in Napa Valley and the occasional glass of wine with dinner. When I used to dance on Mr. C, he always assumed it was a part of my typical Kaneisha silliness. It wasn’t until I explicitly said, “I want you to dance with me right now” that he understood that I actually wanted to dance with him—not for him (well, sometimes I do…).

Once the dancing curse was broken, we spent the rest of the evening dancing the night away. From MJ’s Beat It to Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony clubicized hardcore rap, we fit together like ribs and BBQ sauce. It was super-fun, sexy, and made me feel closer to him.

“How have we never danced before? How can this be?!” I kept asking Mr. C incredulously. I was even more astounded to learn that he’d taken all kinds of salsa lessons and been a member of a ballroom dancing team. Just a few details he’d never thought to bring up—and I’d never thought to ask about.

A shift happened for me after discovering Mr. C can dance. My head filled with fantasies of us twirling across the floor at salsa clubs, click-clacking our way across the straw-littered floors of country music joints, and backin’ it up to Lil Wayne’s latest hit. I decided that from now on, we were going to be that deliriously happy couple on the dance floor that doesn’t care how many people are staring at them in disgust or envy. (Yes, this is how my imagination works. If yours works like this, you are definitely a Crazy Girl.)

I’d like to share a few quick tips on how to get your guy to dance with you after my wonderful weekend discovery:

  • Surround him with music. Play music while driving, cooking, cleaning, or even just have it playing when he walks through the door to pick you up for a date. It will create a “dancing” mood.
  • Don’t ask him if he dances. He’ll give you a vague answer that is hard to interpret—and make him think you have high expectations.
  • Introduce dancing in a low-risk environment—alone in the apartment or at a club with a small group of friends.
  • Ask him to dance with you rather than just humping his leg like a Chihuahua.
  • Don’t overwhelm him with crazy dance moves. Ratchet up the complexity in response to how he dances with you.
  • Don’t tease him about his dancing or laugh at him.
  • Don’t advise him on how to do it better—unless he asks.
  • Don’t compare him to other guys: “So-and-so was such a great dancer! Can you dance?”
  • Compliment him a lot on his dancing and how fun it was. (Because it will be!)

Crazy Girls! Don’t be like me and let SIX WHOLE MONTHS go by before you dance with your boyfriend. The earlier you introduce dancing, the better! Just make sure you don’t let a hot, sweaty night on the dance floor make you create a hot, sweaty night in the bed too early!

Now, play some music and make your man move his hips!

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