Getting Past Bad Racial Sterotypes
This is a follow-up post to the post about being humble. A lot of guys want to know how to get past the whole race or not being all that attractive thing. I think instead of telling you how to do it, I should tell you how women slept with me that I was absolutely against sleeping with or dating. I ‘ll give you the example of my first black girl.
Let me give you a little background on me. I use to be a guy that rejected a lot of women. If you were a girl, and didn’t look a certain way, then you didn’t stand a chance with me. Now let’s talk about the first girl to break past my barrier, or male bitch shield, so to speak. It was my first black girl.
Prior to her, I was absolutely dead set against sleeping with a black girl because there was no way I was going to risk being stuck with a loudmouth woman that had a serious attitude problem. If you were a black girl and approached me, you would have gotten shot down right on the spot. Anyhow, when I talked to this girl up in the dorm, I was initially mean to her.
You might be wondering why I invited her home with me. What made me give her a chance, was that the more she talked, the more I realized that she was being really humble and not taking my rejection of her too seriously. It didn’t completely break my perception of her, but it did make me give her a chance. On to why I slept with her. While we were walking to my place and she was talking, I realized that she wasn’t ghetto, and in fact that she could fit in with my mostly caucasian friends. She had proven wrong the stereotypes that I once had about all black women, and when she made her move on me, I just let it happen.
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The most important thing, is the scenario in which we met. Had we met in a loud nightclub, I would have immediately dismissed her. In fact, I believe I did do it to two black girls recently. It was wrong, but it was an instinctual reaction. My worst fear is getting a black girl pregnant and having to deal with her loud mouth and serious attitude problem for 18 years.
Anyhow, the circumstances under which I met my first black girl worked in her favor. There weren’t any other girls for me to talk to, so when she spoke to me, I actually listened to her, even if I had initially wrongly judged her. That and we met in a situation where I could get past my instinctual reaction. What I mean by that, is by the time I realized I was wrong for judging her so fast, she was still around when I decided that I should have given her a chance.
As a minority or guy that isn’t super attractive, the two things that are of the best use to you, is being the only guy around that is likely to hit on a girl, and being around long enough for a girl to realize that she wrongly stereotyped you (and being humble about it). You have to understand that if a girl only likes white guys, and you are an Asian guy, she is going to immediately reject you if she thinks a white guy is around that might approach her.
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And you also have to understand that if she believes in the bad stereotypes about you, she is going to look for any reason to reject you (hence, why you should stay away from lines or anything too fancy). Being humble about the whole situation and not trying to be too fancy will start to mess with her conscious as time goes on, especially if you can hold a decent conversation, assuming that there really was nothing wrong with you outside of your race. And by sticking around long enough, it may allow women to want to give you another shot, and look past your flaws.
I’ve been in a few situations with women where I initially rejected them because they weren’t white, under 120 pounds, and didn’t have perfect faces. However, the women that didn’t meet my standards that did get me, got me because of the circumstances. None of the girls that fit my criteria were likely to hit on me, these girls remained humble which bought them time, and I started to look past the stereotypes and realized that these girls weren’t as bad as I initially perceived them to be,
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At the same time, realize that sometimes it isn’t your race. Sometimes a guy can just be a really bad conversationalist, lack a backbone, be a horrible dresser, or be really, really, physically unattractive. Some of you guys have to stop blaming your race, and start looking at other factors.