Easy Come, Easy Date
Hello,
I love your column!
I have a very demanding job in Mergers and Acquisitions, and I rarely have time to go out. Since I spend so much time working, my social circle consists solely of people from my office. We tend to attract a lot of “gold diggers” at bars and clubs by ordering bottle service, writing e-mails on our Blackberries, and wearing basketball jerseys with player numbers representing our gross annual income.
You warn against using your salary as a seduction tactic in your level 9 eBook, For What It’s Worth: Misrepresenting Your Wealth with Jimmy Suede, but I can’t avoid showcasing my money when I’m out with my work buddies. How can I attract women who are genuinely interested in my personality and not my bank account?
Jeffrey from New York
Jeffrey!
You’re right — I don’t ever tell a woman how much money I make. I always tell her I make much, much more.
You misunderstood my point, Jeffrey. I don’t downplay my income to weed out gold diggers — I exaggerate it astronomically to fool them into dating me. What sense would it make to lie to a woman for the sake of not seducing her? I’m afraid you have a lot to learn, my friend.
You should always imply that you’re richer than you really are. Women love men with money, Jeffrey — it’s why roses are expensive. If you make a healthy income, inflate it even further. Remember: There will always be a class of women who are only interested in men that make more than you do. To date them, you have to bend the truth.
If you’re pulling down six-figures, tell people you’re a millionaire. If you have a million in the bank, tell people you’re a billionaire. If you’re one of Forbes’ 100 richest, shave your head and claim to be Lex Luthor. Never reveal your true social status because it automatically shuts you out to the women above it. I’ve gotten more fake numbers by admitting that I can’t physically separate California from North America and profit from my land holdings in Western Nevada than I care to count, Jeffrey.
If I wanted to use my personality to attract women, I wouldn’t be hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. “Personality” is a word that painters and beat poets throw around to justify being lonely. Sure, “talking” to women and “learning” about their interests and goals may feel romantic, but leasing a Jaguar and buying designer clothes on credit yields results. I’m not interested in finding my soul mate, Jeffrey — I’m interested in picking up women.
Make your money work for you. When you pick a woman up for a date, have a copy of Yacht Trader sitting in your passenger seat. Withdraw your rent money from an ATM and conspicuously search your bulging wallet for “the stepchildren” — bills too tattered and marked up to spend in public. Have a copy of the Wall Street Journal on your coffee table with highlights on every story that was directly influenced by you. If women know you make a lot of money, they won’t worry about trivial things like your aspirations. Dreams are for suckers, Jeffrey — only a fool would wait until after he had achieved a goal to celebrate it.
Deception and duplicity are the cornerstones of seduction. I’d love nothing more than to look in the mirror and not recoil in horror, Jeffrey, but self-loathing is the price I’ve paid for success with women. To reach player status, you have to cast integrity aside and compromise every moral and principle you’ve ever held dear. At the end of the day, seduction isn’t about romance or companionship — it’s about being better than the next guy. And he drives a Porsche.
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