Don’t Test Me

October 19, 2021 by No Comments

With finals in the rear view mirror, Miss Daisy can’t help but see the parellels between standardized testing and the tests we put our partners through in relationships.

I’d like to start by saying that I know finals are over and nobody wants to talk about dumb ass tests. I’d also like to say that I don’t know why blue books are blue, who invented the Scantron, or why George W. Bush thought that No Child Left Behind was going to change education in America. When it comes to testing in the classroom, politicians, parents, and students can all have their own opinion. But when it comes to dating and relationships, using standardized testing almost always results in an F.

When you first start dating someone it’s normal to want to figure them out and get to know them in the easiest and best possible way. When this process takes place among mostly drunken college nights, the methods are not always perfect. We are often tempted to create tests for those enrolled in our own romantic course. While that may have been a horribly worded metaphor, it’s a cycle that’s easy to slip into.

We are often tempted to create tests for those enrolled in our own romantic course. While that may have been a horribly worded metaphor, it’s a cycle that’s easy to slip into.

We determine standard amounts of time that are appropriate for text responses or ask questions about hopes and dreams and only accept specific answers. Even deep into a relationship, many couples do stupid shit to test each other. Everyone’s seen someone in a crazy relationship that flirts just to get a jealous rise out of their partner. Or the girl who plans a date during Sunday night football to test their boyfriend’s dedication (a deed I would never do, for the record).

The most public display of testing affection takes place in reality television. Shows are made with the sole aim to create tests for prospective lovers. As much as I watch/discuss/obsess over shows like The Bachelor, I don’t think that finding “true love” should be a game. I write true love in parenthesis because there have factually been more successful marriages from people meeting on The Biggest Loser than dating reality shows. You can’t make checklists or create obstacle courses to decide if someone is the right match for you.

Think about how it feels to be in a class that you really enjoy and are genuinely interested in. Taking a multiple-choice test isn’t always the best way to determine how knowledgeable and passionate you are about that subject. Although we can’t necessarily blame the school system for not trusting us enough to let us through schooling without tests, we should be mature enough to find trust for the people we date in our lives. If you feel the need to require essays and true or false questions to your partner, you probably shouldn’t be with them.

While I may have firm answers regarding testing and dating, I decided to answer my other questions. After some extensive research on, I found out that blue books are blue to reflect the school color of Butler University where they were started and that the inventor of the Scantron is actually Michael Sokolski. To my disappointment, his last name isn’t actually Scantron and he also happened to die this year. While the rest of us will undoubtedly be joining Mr. Sokolski with the end of the world this Friday the 21st, we should try to live test free for the precious few days we have left.


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