Dear Googlers
Usually on X (Twitter), a few of us bloggers go back and forth with our weirdest search term of the day. Usually Bronan and Single White Male beat me on the ridiculous, but I still thought it would be fun to respond to specific searches people made on Google to find me. So, without further ado, my funniest search terms (of all time, [so far]) and my responses!
second life fat girl
What? I don’t even know what you were trying to find.
alpha male sex mom
Not sure what this is about… I really do not advocate you sleep with your mom and will go so far as to say that those who do probably aren’t alphas. If you are so terrible at getting some strange that your mom pity fucks you, you’re probably an omega and should just off yourself.
how to deal with a feminist woman
Fuck her, never call her again.
bitter fat women
Bitter because they’re fat, fat because their bitter; will never break the cycle because they’re women.
knee in balls
Generally something we avoid. I actually think I used “knee in balls” as a tag once. Paid off, I guess.
como es una persona alpha
Un ”Alpha” es un hombre que puede controlar las situaciones sociales con su presencia y las opiniones fuertes, por lo general un hombre que le va bien con las mujeres.
pauly d arm
Post one picture of the guy and you start getting these types of hits.
does fist bump count as kino
Not with a chick. Between you and a male friend, its friendly kino. If you fist bump a woman, you and her are probably going to have not sex later.
how to grow a lumberjack beard
Stop shaving.
she took 3 hours to respond to a text
Take three days.
counter attacks for cool story bro
Upper-cut. Alternatively, “Thanks man.”
man who use word cunt overly
Yes?
women use the word cunt
Sometimes. Is that surprising?
ted fat girls
Again, I have no idea what you were initially looking for and how my website is relevant to this search.
where+do+your+balls+go+when+you+cross+your+legs?
You not being able to find them is a sign of a larger problem that you should probably address.
fat woman pushy
They can be! Especially in a pastry shop, my god!
alpha male eating raw meat
I should do a post about how Men prefer their steaks.
can you cross your testicles
Dear God! No, no I cannot. Please don’t try this. Cheese And Rice, my balls hurt now.
fat woman doing push up
Okay, seriously, it was one fucking post. This is not a fat sympathy blog. If you want to read that shit, go read Joy Nash and some of her thunderously over-weight cohorts (If they love being fat so much, why do they always post about what diets they’re on?).
fat shit test
The “Fat Shit Test” is the one where she walks in and says, “Do/es this/these _______ make me/my ass look fat?” Best way to handle this, I’ve found, is Agree & Amplify. ”Holy shit yes! Throw those away and buy some parachute pants so the rest of us don’t have to see all that cellulite! My God, we’re getting you on a diet right away.”
girl cried during physical escalation resistance
You’re doing it wrong.
lol at girls who thought i bought them shots of vodka when it was actually water
lol, I know right? Classic move.
References:
Don’t forget to put salve on the wound
Delightfully sweet, bright crisp finish, and just a hint of beta
25 Things I Wish I Knew In College
Chick Tease: Using a Woman’s Own Tactics Against Her
Tales from the Crypt: The Aging Player