Which Is More Important: Their Weight or Their Health

October 30, 2025 by Andrew Small No Comments

Here’s something interesting that I’ve noticed recently. I never really utilized or paid much attention to the Two of Us section of OKCupid. This is the section were you can see how members answered a variety of questions from their political leanings to views on sex, abortion, religion, etc.

I’ve noticed that a lot of men said that they had a mostly or totally vegan diet. A month ago I met a man at a alumni event for my college. After a couple dates I learned he, too, was not much of a meat eater and that he couldn’t live without Kale. He gave me a run down of all the benefits, focusing on its possible connection to preventing certain kinds of cancers.

Now, I’m a meat and potatoes girl. I’m Sicilian. We like our meat. I also come from a family where cancer and heart disease runs rampant. Connection? Probably.Also muddying up our genes is Rheumatoid Arthritis, various hormone/reproductive related issues and depression. Yay!

Most of my family isn’t what you’d call active. One of my older sisters was sort of cursed with my grandmother’s genes and is barely five feet tall. She has struggled with her weight all her life. She walks 3-5 miles several days a week, does the stationary bike, takes soy supplements, drinks lots of water, etc. At 47, she looks pretty damn amazing, with gorgeous and glowing skin. Her body is her body….there are just some things she can’t change. We’re a stocky bunch, but for her it’s that much more difficult because of her height. But she rocks it. Not just because she accepted her body and didn’t try to change her genes or DNA, but because she works with it. And for it. Yes, she’d love to be taller. But my other sisters would kill for her skin, outlook and glossy hair. All of her daughters have taken up sports and working out. They, like her, have beautiful skin, hair, teeth and are quite healthy. But the most striking thing about all of them is their attitudes. My sister’s daughters have grown up to be extremely confident, happy, self-respecting women. So she did something (many things) right. And I have no doubt part of it has to do with leading by example and valuing her health.

With the news of my sister’s cancer returning last month, we’ve all done some re-evaluating in that area. Making changes. Being more stringent about mammograms and self-exams. But also about diet and exercise.

I was never really aware of how important health and wellness had become to people, especially singles. We hosted a speeddating event for Athletic/Active singles ages 25-35 last week. We currently have TWICE the registrations for the same event for singles 33-46. Twice. So..do we have a growing trend here?

I think so. I believe that people are becoming more and more aware and placing more importance on the health of their potential partners.

It started with many people’s refusal to date smokers. Not only do they not want to risk second-hand smoke inhalation, they don’t want a partner who is too winded to walk 10 blocks or could die an early death. They view someone’s choice to smoke as a direct relation to how much they value themselves. I never really got that before. In fact, I fought it because I was/am a smoker. (Don’t say it. Already bought the patch and the gum.) Then there’s the financial aspect to smoking. With our economy being what it is, it baffles people that some would literally burn their hard-earned dollars.

Now the focus is on diet and exercise. Another by-product of the economic downturn and just life in general, no doubt, was the increase in emotional issues like depression and anxiety. Both of which are greatly helped by consistent activity. I don’t think anyone can deny that people who routinely exercise (not to an extreme amount or in a compulsive way) have a more positive outlook and are more confident.

We’ve often discussed the issue of weight and what men and women prefer. Here was another thing I noticed from viewing many male profiles in the 35+ age range…there were more men than I expected that said a woman’s body type wasn’t that big of an issue. But most of them also made it clear in their profiles and questions that they would never date a smoker or someone who “let themselves go.”

Now, this has me curious about something.

Would you rather date someone who was objectively slender that wasn’t active, or someone who was slightly overweight or not objectively slender who worked out and/or was conscious about their diet? I’ll admit it. If I see a photo of a guy with a pot belly, I’m turned off. I don’t care about their height or their hairline, as they can’t control that. But that beer belly? That’s in their control (assuming, of course, there are no medical issues at work.) I also don’t care for men who say in their profiles that they are big drinkers. Occasional? Sometimes? A few glasses of wine a couple times a week? No problem. But those guy who are out there multiple nights a week drinking to excess? Not for me.

I don’t think the focus is on weight as much as it was. I think it’s more on someone’s health and commitment to being healthy. While the examples aren’t many, I’m seeing a shift on TV shows, too. Cali on Grey’s Anatomy has an ongoing steamy affair and genuine friendship with single plastic surgeon McSteamy . On Fox’s Glee, Puckerman – the school bad boy and resident lothario – has fallen for new Gleeker Lauren, star of the wrestling team. Like I said, there aren’t many examples. But the examples I cite stand out to me for one reason…there was never that moment that either female character got all insecure and confused and “Oh, gee, why does he want me??” In fact, Lauren actually stands up to Puckerman after he sings a song to her that praises “big bottomed girls.” She tells him that she doesn’t need him to accept her size and that she didn’t appreciate being objectified for it.

What both of these female characters posess is a confidence in who they are and what they do. One is a doctor. The other an athlete. They’re presented in a way the shows a commitment to staying or being healthy. They’re also both very confident in who they are. Connection? I absolutely believe so, yes.

So, like I said above, I’m starting to think that what matters more is how we invest in ourselves and our health and longevity than the size of our jeans.

Which Is More Important: Their Weight or Their Health

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