When I say “sin” I don’t mean, killing, cheating, or dealing drugs, I’m talking about taking everyday situations and making them fun, seeing the comedy in life.  For example, I “mess” with people at grocery stores, banks, restaurants, gas stations, anywhere I have contact with strangers.  Sometimes they’re in on it, sometimes their not. It depends on their level of intelligence and wit. It also depends what kind of mood I’m in. Meaning, I’m usually feeling “up to no good” and it works like a charm but if I’m feeling like shit, I keep my big mouth shut.

    Living here in New England makes it easy, people here are fairly sarcastic and sharp witted [that is when I find someone who’s first language is English].  Good ole Yankees will gladly play along with the joke.  Other great areas are NYC, Chicago, anywhere that is rural, and mid west cities.  Places where the joke will certainly be on them include; L.A., Miami, any Whole Foods store, and expensive stores where the clerks forget “they work there not shop there” LOL…idiots.

Here are some things to try:

1. Next time you’re at a fast food restaurant ask for an ingredients list and then tell them you heard [ these tacos, hamburgers, etc] take X amount of days off your life. Ask what meal kills you the slowest.

2. While shopping in a mall or dept. store, take clothes that are just horrible, hold them up and ask a stranger if the outfit would be appropriate to wear to a funeral. Keeping a straight face is a must.

3. We all have to wait at stop lights [unless we’re flying]. If the person in the car next to you looks harmless, open your eyes really wide and just look at them or their kids in the back seat.

4. Walk through a drive thru. Get out of your car and walk thru. For extra comedy, after you pick up your meal, make the sound of a car driving away.

5. Next time you’re in a bar or a night club [this primarily works if you’re male!!], if you see someone walking past that looks friendly and harmless, say, “I’m way too hot, don’t even think about it, keep on a walkin” This works especially well if the girl walking by is super hot. I’ve done this and garnered belly laughs from the coldest bitch.

6. At grocery store checkouts. Take a look at the cover of any magazine, Star, Us Weekly, Weekly World News and make some outrageous comment about the people on the cover like you know them. The better you are at lying, the more they’ll believe you. 

7. Guys, buy a sling shot. You’ll know what to do. LOL However, no harmless birds, or domesticated pets!

You see, ladies and gentlemen, life can be mundane or fun, it’s your choice. I’m a selfish bastard and if I have to go to the god damn grocery store then I’m going to have fun with it. Plus, it makes ME feel good to make someone laugh. I don’t always succeed but who cares, they aren’t fkn paying me.

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