“One Of The Good Guys”: A Conversation About Why Tyrone’s World Is Coming Apart
“Nigga please, you work for UPS…”
-Biz Markie, “The Vapors”
“Hill, I’m telling you man, ninety-five percent of the sisters out there are trying to date five percent of the men!” That is what my buddy Tyrone shouted to me over a beer, trying to compete with the music playing at our favorite sports bar. Ty went on to say, “You’re lucky, Hill, because you’re in that five percent, but a brother like me, man…these sistahs make me work so hard. And at the end of the day, most of them aren’t even serious about me.”
Ty is one of the good guys – solid, level-headed. He never went to college but he’s just as smart as many of the people with whom I graduated from Harvard. He works for UPS, owns a condo, and likes to travel. But virtually none of my girlfriends are willing to give Tyrone a chance.”
-Hill Harper, “The Conversation”
“If you were a man who had a blue-collar job and supporting a wife and family, you had status; you were one of “the good guys”; today, that is gone. I think that the feminist movement had something to do with that; but, there’s something else: women from lower-income communities simply do not need men anymore. There was a time when, if you were a lower-income woman with a child and you didn’t have a man around to help you out, you were really in bad shape; that simply isn’t true anymore. And while we all can argue as to whether welfare was good or not, we simply cannot deny what we are seeing now.”
-Charles Murray, “Coming Apart”
The above two quotes, taken together as they appear above, might seem a bit odd – after all, one is from one of the great many “Black relationship expert” books that has become all the rage over roughly the past decade or so; while the other is from a book rooted in hard-headed statistical presentation and analysis by one of the country’s foremost Conservative – and White – social observers of our time. However, as I hope to show and prove over the course of this essay, the two quotes are quite interlinked indeed. Moreover, Harper and Hill actually have quite a number of things in common: one, that they both hail from Smalltown America (Iowa); two, that they both attended Harvard; and three, that both their books, in their own and very apparent ways, have that kind of “Aw, shucks” nostalgic vibe about them, that is, I suppose, part and parcel of the Midwestern Way. (Please note Harper’s name – it is the surnames of his mom and dad – much like the fictional Clark Kent)
But they both, especially the two quotes above, point to what is now an unassailable fact: that it is no longer feasible – indeed, no longer profitable – to be a “good guy”. This is due to systemic changes in the way we do business as it were in American life today; changes that have occurred in a relatively short period of time in American history, and has forever altered how we see ourselves and each other along perhaps the most profound of arenas: mating. In this post, I want to layout the case as to what has happened to “good guys” like Tyrone, and what he – indeed, the rest of us – can expect the future to look like in early 21st century American life.
So, let’s dig right in…
Although it seems to have lessened some with the current cohort of Sistas (those born, say, around the time of actress Kerry Washington, who came on the scene in 1977 or so), for Black Women who have been born around the same time as Harper himself (1966), the “Blue Collar Brotha Trope” was a very popular one in Black American “relationship discussion” circles (see the numerous “cautionary tales” pumped out by the Tyler Perry machine); Sistas who were highly educated/motivated/earning, were supposedly beset by this great dearth of “Eligible Brothas”, due to them dying off too early, going to jail for too long, being Gay and of course, being…Blue Collar. Lots and lots of things have been said about it, go and Google it up for yourself – and one of the “strategies” proposed by varying “experts” on the matter, was that these ladies should (even must, heh) “give them a chance”. Harper himself uses that phrase “give him a chance” – twice – in the book. I won’t attempt to speak for his buddy Tyrone, but I for one have made my personal views about such “noblese oblige” very well known, and consider it a profound insult for reasons I’ve again made quite clear. But Harper’s quote merits a closer look, because it stands as stark evidence that debunks some of the supposed “conventional wisdom” surrounding this hot topic of debate in Black America.
First, note that, according to Harper, Tyrone is just as smart as Harper’s classmates at Harvard – he just didn’t have the chance to further his formal education; and second, note that Tyrone owns a condo and likes to travel – clear and present signs that, if he’s not quite pulling down six figures, is in any event doing quite well for himself, and is therefore far from eking out a just-above-the-poverty-line existence. Indeed, Tyrone could be making MORE money than many of the ostensible White Collar Professional Sistas who’ve turned their noses up at him(!), with a fraction of the debt load to boot.
And yet, Tyrone remains on the shelf, so to speak.
Note as well, Harper’s mentioning that Tyrone is “solid” and “level-headed” – something else that, when such conversations obtain about “Blue Collar Brothas” tends to go unsaid. My point in all of this, is that Tyrone defies all the stereotypes about such Brothas – he’s industrious; he’s honest (a trait that correlates strongly with being “solid” and “level-headed”); he seems to have an interest in, at the least, long(er) term relationships, if not marriage (note how Tyrone said that the ladies weren’t “serious” about him “at the end of the day”); and while we don’t know his views on theology, given that he is Black, we can safely assume that he is at the very least not antagonistic against religion (after all, one is hardpressed to find many avowed Atheists who are Black). In short, Tyrone embodies the Founding Virtues that Murray presents as the key building blocks that have made the American Project possible. Nor is Tyrone alone.
Yet, by his own admission, none of Harper’s lady friends were interested in Tyrone.
What gives?
Well, the Four Sirens is what gives. When Women, in this case Black, were able to lead lives that did NOT require having a Man in them, things changed.
But, for this audience at least, none of this comes as any news or shock, right? However, there’s a bit more that we must add to the mix:
1. The Four Sirens “freed up” Women, in this case Black ones, to select mates based on factors that fall outside of the “bread and butter” issues and concerns – in other words, Women can now select for what they truly desire in a mate, first and foremost. This not only goes for physical attractiveness (YES, Looks Matter, fellas; more on this in an upcoming post – stay tuned) – but so too for other, more behavorial traits and characteristics that Women find deeply attractive (more on this below)
2. Massive sociopolitical changes in attitudes made it possible for Women, in this case Black, to accept, or in this case reject, potential suitors who lacked that which Sistas desire – and this is something that cuts across SES lines, I might add
3. As a result of The Four Sirens, Women, in this case Black, can select much “harder” for things like a Man’s Social Status – as I pointed out in the previous post’s comments, a Man’s earning power alone, in a time when Women are fully self-supporting, will have a limited at best “pull” on the ladies. In short, it just doesn’t have the “bang” it used to
All of the above (and more!) explains how and why Tyrone is getting nowhere fast with the ladies in Harper’s social cipher.
Now, I know what you’re going to say: “Tyrone’s shooting out of his league; why can’t he date the many Blue Collar Sistas around?” – right?
Well, my response to that is, please re-read what I said above: ALL Women, regardless as to their own SES level in American life, can reject a Man based on simple “meat and potatoes” metrics alone these days – metrics that, merely a half a century ago, could have made the difference between having a roof over their head and being out on the street. Put that together with a hugely ubiquitous meme in Black America – that “I don’t need no Man” meme that is world renowned as the Sistahood’s battle cry/anthem/mantra all rolled up into one, a meme that is drilled into the heads of Black Women by both their mamas and daddies alike, and there you go. Sistas can and will go it alone before they, and I quote, “settle for less” – and let’s be brutally honest, here – in the minds of quite a few Sistas out there, again, regardless as to their own SES level, Tyrone, is “less”.
There, I’ve said it.
Sure – there will be Sistas who will swear up and down that what I just laidout, is not true for them; and to be fair, there’s something to be said about that. But the point is made – Hill saw it himself with his own eyes – and besides, every Man learns sooner or later, to watch what Women do, not what they say. When it comes to that, and in the main in our day and time, Sistas really ain’t got time for that.
But, there’s more to all of this than what I’ve laidout above. You see, in so many ways, both “The Conversation” and “Coming Apart” are so very important, for and to me, because, in so many ways, I am Tyrone, and Tyrone is me – a fairly bright Brotha who simply didn’t have the chance to get sucked up by the College Sorting Machine, yet still understood – and bought into – those Founding Virtues enough, to make a decent life for themselves. “Coming Apart” spends a great deal of time in Fishtown, a section of Kensington in my hometown of Philly – and a special place for me. It is because it was there that my adult life began, many years ago, and barely a month out of highschool; I was literally grandfathered into one of the big industrial skilled trades companies that was responsible for some of the biggest construction projects in the greater Philly area, and worked there until the company eventually folded, going the way of so many area factories and plants. I came along at a time when the great industries of Philly were taking their last gasps of life.
So, I know Fishtown very, very well, and could see in my mind’s eye many of the places Murray talked about there. Indeed, I saw it all way back when, live and in color, pardon the pun.
“The Conversation”, while hardly groundbreaking (after all, if you’re Black, you’ve heard it all many, many times before), IS important, precisely for how it presents it when it comes to Tyrone. Try it for yourself – get a hold of the book, and read it. Shouldn’t be hard – I knocked it off inside a few hours (less than 300 pages). Note how Tyrone wasn’t in attendance in the party in DC that Hill attended; how he wasn’t in attendance at the “Guy’s Night Out” dinner in Miami; and how he wasn’t in attendance at Hill’s “Conversation” dinner party in L.A. Hill and Tyrone may be homies, but they ain’t homies like that – and that, is where Coming Apart, comes in.
Murray makes the case that the American Project – of which the Black contingent of it has been joined at the hip from Day One – is under serious threat, due to social, political and economic forces that have been at work over the past half a century. One of the results of these forces, is that we have profound Class differences that are different from anything we’ve ever seen before – and that they are something that goes beyond Race. Tyrone ain’t a part of the conversations because there are entire cohorts of Black folks – male and female alike, now – who simply cannot conceptualize Tyrone’s world, due to the inevitable preferences in lifestyle, mating, you name it, that comes with what Richard Florida (whom Murray cites quite a bit in “Coming Apart”, among others) refers to as the “Creative Class”.
For example, chances are very, very high, that Hill, nor any of the other males he cites in his book, has ever walked a factory room floor, much less worked in one – to say nothing of actually seeing someone (almost always a Man) die on the job (I have; my first day on the job, in fact). In fact, Hill himself is best known as a smart criminal investigator – not the gritty kind one is likely to encounter on, say, The Wire; but rather, one who has all kinds of cool toys which requires a high IQ to play with and make use of in the solving of whodunits – and in any event, the closest he’s come to a dead body on the job is one he routinely encounters on the set of the teledramas he stars in. To them, the term “workout” applies to what happens after work is over, in a gym, not while they’re actually on the job. To them, even while they may understand all the hub-bub surrounding Affirmative Action and so forth, it is simply difficult, if not impossible, to conceive how someone as bright as Tyrone would not go on to university (of course, and as Murray rightly points out in “Coming Apart”, Affirmative Action has actually served the upper echelons of Black society in the main; personally, it is an abstract debating point, not a flesh-and-blood reality in my life. Simply put, Affirmative Action was a non-factor for me); for him not to do so, suggests a character flaw about him – character flaws, that extend to the realms of mating (more on this below, keep reading). Not only that, but all of this and more, explains how and why the notion of a “self-made man” – something that Hill discusses in relation to Tyrone – the very phrase – is a relic.
Think about this for a moment – the term “self-made man” conjures up imagery of Dale Carnegie, or Horatio Alger – you’re talking about an idea that’s easily a century to a century-and-a-half old(!). The notion that, through hard work and pluck, a (smart but unlettered) guy can rise to the heights of 21st century American life, is naive, at best. It is in large part to what Murray discusses in “Coming Apart”. For one thing, do you honestly think that those who have gone through the system are just going to stand idly by while a sharp but poor (and in this case, Black) kid just whizzes by them? Really?
Come on.
As Murray notes in “Coming Apart”, “on the job training” is dead – and this true even in the trades. So too, is the idea of “working your way up” – not gonna happen, in the main. To quote The Wire, nowadays, “the King stay the King”.
So, while yes, Tyrone has made a decent life for himself – better than most, all things considered – no, he can’t be a “self-made man” in the way that term is commonly understood, because the conditions on the ground that made such a thing possible in the first place, no longer exist, in the main.
Especially if you’re Black.
All of this underscores the discussion along these lines, because they sit at the heart of how and why guys like Tyrone can and will be passed over by “the Sistas” – “Coming Apart” explains why.
“The Evolution of Desire” does too.
You see, in TEOD, Prof. David Buss, considered by many to be one of the most important names in the field of Evolutionary Psychology today, gives a list of the traits and characteristics Women throughout the world find most desirable in Men. Of roughly a dozen traits, Buss lists “Social Status” as Number Two, right behind “Economic Capacity” in the Number One spot. Other traits, such as “Kindness”, “Physical Size & Health” and “Commitment”, are well down on the list(!).
Think about that for a moment.
Why does “Social Status” loom so large in the sexual psychology of Women? Well, the short answer is because, social status is a kind of shortcut that the Man in possession of it has resources. Think about it – “status” means, that a Man has access to resources that today we would call “social capital” – things that include knowing the right people, being able to acquire things beyond mere money alone that makes life better not just for the Woman in question, but for their kids as well, and a position that puts said Man in a position to give any offspring a head start on life. Money, while important, is not the end-all/be-all; Status matters, too. A Man who commands the respect of People Who Matter, simply put, is in a better position to make life worth living for the Woman – or to be frank in human evolutionary terms, Women – who mates with him.
Then, there’s the social circle of the Woman in question – her selection of a mate, says a great deal about her, to her friends, peers, colleagues, indeed, even family relations. I don’t think I need to take it any further than that.
Now, at this point, we have to ask: “Yea, Obsidian, I feel you; but since Women are so well-earning and self-supporting these days, surely all that caveman stuff wouldn’t apply anymore, right?”
Wrong – as Buss and others have consistently pointed out, every test and survey ever done on the kinds of Women Hill talked about in relation to Tyrone, i.e., highly educated/highly earning (Black) Women, have shown an increased desire for Men who have the same things they have, just more of it, not less. In other words, Sistas who are doing very well in our Brave New World, want Brothas (or in some cases, White Guys) who are doing even better than they are. Notions or ideas that they would adopt some kind of bohemian progressiveness on this front need to see if they can get access to the next “Conversation” party Hill hosts and holla back.
In short, for many Sistas in that cohort – Hill reports all of the ones he knew when it came to Tyrone – it’s a nonstarter.
Period.
What Tyrone must understand – as I did – is that he/me/we, are living fossils of a long dead age. Thinking that being a hard worker, being a straight arrow, believing in “going steady” and The Man Upstairs – in short, being a devotee of what Murray refers to as the Founding Virtues -are all quaint conceits. And that’s putting it mildly. To be even more blunt, they mean next to nothing, in today’s mating marketplace, if you’re a guy.
Now let me clarify even more what I just wrote above, because I can easily see how someone out there reading this can misconstrue what I have said. What I am saying, is this: being a “good guy” matters, only if you have satisfied other conditions that Women writ large, are able to select for – like charisma, handsomeness, being socially smooth/suave, “interesting”, possessing social status – FIRST. This is due to the massive changes that observers like Murray and a great many others have talked about. The “good guy” strategy, was one that was suited for an age in American life that simply no longer exists. Being “a good provider who will love the kids”, just ain’t gonna get it in the 21st century, when Women, in this case Black and even ones who are dirt poor, simply do not NEED a Man to “provide for the kids”.
Got it?
Let’s return to that earlier question about Tyrone needing to “stay in his lane”, shall we – because we have to touch on something else that, up until now, no one else in this “conversation” (save Murray, of course) has:
In addition to the Four Sirens, the simple truth is that, IQ matters. Tyrone is a smart guy – and, to be blunt, many Blue Collar Sistas, are NOT. That’s not a knock on anyone; it’s not a value judgment. But it DOES matter at a time when the fundamental working definitions of what relationships, marriage, indeed, love itself, means – when it has shifted from arrangements of survival and utility, especially for Black folks in Jim Crow-era America, to one where these things mean the fulfillment of interactions with another who shares our views and ways of life in 21st century-America.
It also matters because – listen carefully now – it has never been a better time in American life to be a Black Woman. If you have the talent, and the desire, you can go as far as both will take you in cognitive terms. In other words, if you’re a Sista and are NOT seeking a degree or two, chances are high – there are always exceptions – that you’re just not that into it. Although Murray doesn’t discuss it in “Coming Apart”, one of the big stories over the past half-century is that the College Sorting Machine in particular, and the educational system from the grade school level on up in general, has done a wonderful job in not just identifying Black female talent – but it has done a masterful job in motivating and catering to said talent’s needs and interests as well. This point simply cannot be overstated – and explains a huge role as to why the Tyrones exist in the first place, though we haven’t found the collective will to look at the problem dead in the eye on that score. The result is that, while it is certainly possible to find numerous Tyrones out there, there simply aren’t that many Tamikas, if at all; they’ve pretty much matriculated. Those that remain, are rather…dull.
I’m just saying.
Again, I can personally attest to all this. I simply wasn’t attracted to my supposed “assortative mates” because they simply didn’t share my interests. They weren’t curious. They didn’t read (or if they did, not the kinds of things I had an appreciation for). They watched lots of TV, and the kinds of TV I found, to be frank, not just boring but brain-cell killing. They ate foods I found abhorrent. They often smoked, both cigarettes and weed (Bougie Sistas don’t, as a rule – but quite a few DO drink – a lot). And while quite a few were attractive, if you’re “serious” (recall Tyrone’s quote), you start to think, hard, about the longterm implications of throwing in your genetic lot with such a chick. Say what you will, but you start not to be all that enthusiastic about the whole thing.
Then, aside from the Four Sirens and the Sista Brain-Drain that has hit Black America, there’s something else: many Sistas on the Blue Collar end, have kids. Often, quite a few. And by quite a few Baby Daddies. Not a particularly attractive option, for a whole host of reasons.
The Micro-Solution For Tyrone
So – where does this leave our hapless sap hero, Tyrone? If I were having a “conversation” with him, here’s what I would tell him:
“Tyrone, here’s the deal: we are now in the 21st century. What you’re doing was great to get the ladies back when our pops and grandpops were operating, but that stuff is all but DOA today. Nowadays, it’s about status, charisma, looking good, saying the right things, avoid doing the wrong things – in a word, GAME. You need it bad, and the sooner you get some, the better. For real.”
I would continue:
“Now, the great thing about your situation is, that you have some serious wattage going on between your ears. That’s good for several reasons: one, because that means you’ll be able to learn this Game stuff fairly quickly and put it into action; and two, because Intelligence can be and often is a trait that Women, and this includes Sistas, find hugely attractive about a Man. But, here’s the trick – you gotta go about it the right way.”
Then we’d get down the business:
“That means, that you gotta get good at something that makes you stand out – Women, and this includes Sistas, dig that about guys. It doesn’t even have to be a paying thing – just something that you love doing and that marks you out a measure of distinction for you. You like traveling – maybe you can start up a travel blog or post up YouTube videos of yourself discussing travel related stuff, starting with the places and spaces you’ve been. It might be something else, but whatever it is, you can’t be leading with how you work for UPS, chief – that’s what you do, but it’s not who you are. Leading an interesting, fun-filled life, is what you want to communicate to the ladies. I’m just saying.”
Next, I’d tackle some of the obvious particulars:
“Tyrone, you have got to learn about Social Proof – because you have one of the hottest dudes in your back pocket in Hill. Why bust your hump doing all the work with a Wingman like that? WTH??? He can most definitely set em up, but you gotta be able to knock em down when he does – and that means, that you gotta get your body language on point, that means that you gotta get your look-good on point, that means that you gotta get your rap on point. Learn Peacock Theory – with the quickness. Slim down/bulk up. Take some boxing lessons, or some other form of martial art, and get roughed up a bit. Chicks dig guys with a scar or two, trust me. And for God’s sake, learn about the Power of Humor, especially how a little bit of Cocky Funny can and will take a Man a long way in this world.”
Then, some real rap about the Four Virtues:
“Ditch the Dudley Do-Right routine – understand that, in our time today, that’s what eggheads call a second-order concern for the ladies. First and foremost is all the preceeding stuff I’ve talked about. Nail that first, and then, bring in the Clark Kent-y stuff. Being Honest Abe won’t mean Jack if you don’t make her tingle, bro. I’m just tryin’ to tell ya.”
Then I would Manage his Expectations:
“Now, here’s how it’s gonna go down, Ty – I was able to achieve my objectives inside of 90 days – but I don’t want to get your hopes up. Let’s say that it takes you six months of diligent study AND PRACTICE before you get good at this here thing. Assuming that’s true, here’s the next thing: we need to be realistic about the ladies you’ll be pulling. I’m not saying you’re condemned to Plain Jane Purgatory, but top tier chicas that are par for the course for the Hills of the world, just might be a bridge too far for you. I’m just saying – you gotta manage your expectations.”
I would spend the better part of the evening just schooling Ty on the realities of the mating landscape he finds himself in, and show him, step by step, how he can WIN in it I would give him a short list of must-read books: “The Evolution of Desire”; “The Mystery Method”; The Game”; “The Decline of Males”; “Sperm Wars”; “The Red Queen” – as well as the two titles we’re talking about in this article.
And I can do this with the utmost confidence, because I’ve done it myself – I don’t do airy-fairy theories and nonsense.
Prototypical “good guys” like Tyrone can win – IF – they just had a little help.
Game, is their last, best hope.
A World Without Tyrone
Now, having said the above, let’s consider the following facts: Game, is a highly specialized area of knowledge – one that is highly unlikely to be utilized by even a sizable minority of the total adult male population in any society. The reasons are many, but the aforementioned one is a good starting point – Game requires a good bit of sparks firing off between your ears to grok. That factor alone, explains how and why not many guys will make use of it. And I haven’t even discussed the racial dimensions of the problem. In a very real sense, we are nibbling around the margins here…at best.
But since Tyrone is a smart guy, this won’t be the case for him; however, there ARE other reasons as to why Game might not work for him. One is a diehard adherence to Blue Pill thinking – after all, it isn’t hard to come across lots of guys who, despite enduring great pain from it, still embrace such ideologies because it makes sense of what they think their world is. Another reason as to why Game won’t work for Tyrone, has to do with his own diligence, or the lack thereof – insiders know that the learning curve, which includes practice and to be frank, getting shotdown a lot, can be tough for a lot of guys…a bit too tough.
In any event, let us say for the sake of argument, that Game simply ain’t the solution for the majority of Tyrones out there.
Fair enough. Now what?
Well, and here we have to go back to the beginning of this post, what both Harper and Murray have in common is they both understand what’s at stake here – that personal lives, and the decisions taken within them, can and will have social impacts beyond said persons. In other words, and to coin a phrase, the Personal isn’t just Political – it’s Social as well. “The stuff of life” as Murray puts it, is very much a personal – and social – affair. If Tyrone does well, we all do well, in very profound ways; and if Tyrone doesn’t do well, neither do we, ultimately, in equally as profound ways. Many Sistas, while having a dim inkling of what I’m about to say here, still may be deluded into thinking that Tyrone being invisible is no sweat off their backs; they would be wrong.
Let’s look at it this way: about a decade ago, a very interesting film called The Matrix Reloaded came out. In it, Neo fights Agent Smith – whom he fought in the first Matrix. As we all remember however, this time around Neo fought not just one Agent Smith, but a virtual army of them – and barely got out alive.
My point?
That we’re not just talking about one Tyrone, or a Tyrone here, an Obsidian there; we’re talking about many, many more Tyrones and Obsidians than we’re willing to openly admit. That’s huge for these kinds of “conversations”, because of how such huge numbers can and will mean for the ways in which we get along (or not) as a society.
What happens if Tyrone, for example, whom we know is well-traveled, decides one day, “You know Tyrone, you’re in your mid-40s, still in good shape and kept your looks; you’ve put in nearly 25 years on the job and have a nice little nest egg built up for yourself. You’ve been to Brazil before; life looks pretty good there. Given your personal history in the States, along with what looks like things possibly getting even more hectic in the coming years, maybe its time to cash in the chips and pull up stakes while you still can enjoy some sembalance of a mating life?” What if Tyrone decides to do just that – indeed, perhaps one reason he’s not mentioned in “The Conversation” beyond the few pages Hill talks about, is because he might have already rolled out?
If you’re a Woman reading this, and thinks “good riddance!” to the likes of Tyrone, let me suggest that you just are not getting the big picture. Consider the fact that, here’s one of the “good guys” who have left, not just the mating field; they’ve left the social ecology period. What can be the longterm effects of such an absence – of even, just some of them? Already, there is a hue and cry about guys who do NOT seem to adhere to the Four Virtues in daily interaction – with moves afoot to get the State involved to tamp it down. What will happen when there simply are fewer Tyrones around, to give you their seat on the bus or train? Or to open doors for you? Or allow you to board a bus or train first?
These are not idle questions, nor are they something that is merely hypothetical; we’ve seen what happens when the Tyrones of the world have left the building. It’s not pretty.
While it may be understandable as to why a number of ladies may not wish to hear it, the truth remains, that human beings – Men and Women alike – respond to incentives. Change the incentives, and you change the resultant behaviors of the human beings involved. Men, by and large, respond to incentives that promise mating opportunities. Change those incentives, and you get the kind of Men that can make life very, very difficult for all involved. In our time, and as a result of irreversible changes to the social system in which we all must live, the incentives for a Man in our time to be an ardent adherent of the Founding Virtues, has changed.
Sure, it’s very easy to shrug off such questions – when you’re young and hawt, such things seem like trifles, at best – but Time, can be a cruel master – and The Wall, is Real. No dis, but it’s one thing to talk smack when you’re in your 20s; something else entirely when you cross the Rubicon in your 40s as a Woman. There is nothing wrong with your TV set, Sistas – what you’re seeing in terms of a steadily-growing disappearing cohort of Brothas, is the real deal. The Tyrones, are quietly voting with their feet.
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