Is It Wrong to Want To Marry Rich?
Name: Shelly || Location: New york , New York |Question: Until recently, it has never been a goal of mine to find/trap/marry a man with money. Generally speaking, I’ve always tried to judge a man by his character not his wallet.
Fast forward to 40 yrs old with a history of men who started out great, but ended up being jerks. I just ordered Gini Polo’s book – How to Marry the Rich. She gives great, albeit manipulative advice on how to actively strategize how to meet and marry a rich man. I feel like what the hell, a rich jerk is better than a poor jerk right?
Is it really so terrible to strategize to get someone of means rather than rely on love? Because honestly, not sure that I believe in love. |Age: 40
Okay. I have a feeling this one could possibly spin out of control.
Here’s what I hear:
“I have bad taste in men. Rather than fix myself, I figured it would be easier to just keep going after the same type of guy, only with a lot of money. Thoughts?”
If you don’t believe in love, then I don’t understand how you could possibly believe in marriage. But then, everybody has their own definition and uses for such things. If I thought you were serious about this change in direction, I’d probably be a bit more harsh. But I don’t think you are. I think you’re burnt out, as we all get, and feeling a little hopeless. That’s a dangerous place to be. Stick around there too long, and you’ll stay there. Get out. Get out of that place in your head. Now. Start a project. Develop some goals that have nothing to do with dating. Save up for a fabulous trip that you’ll take alone. Do some home redecorating. Organize your closets. Join a book club. Do something that gets you out of this unhealthy place. And cut off or minimize your contact with women who feel the same.
I think what depresses me most about this letter is that it’s just another example of a situation where a woman would rather give up on dating all together or settle for someone who treats her poorly rather than do the work that, if anything else, would make her a happier, more well-adjusted person.
You think that the money and all the trappings involved with such a person would compensate for the lack of emotional support, rapport and fantastic sex? It won’t. It will leave you feeling as empty and hopeless as you feel right now.
Listen. Dating is hard. Especially in Manhattan. But the whole point of sifting through the bad apples is to find that one juicy, red one. You won’t even notice the tiny bruises because you’ll be so enamored with the taste and the long…stem. And they are out there. Please believe me. All those things that people say about how it happens when you least expect it? Kinda true. But when you sit and you stew and you complain and focus on what hasn’t worked, you just end up stuck in the same place, dating the same type of person over and over.
You have the ability to make the changes necessary. Which sounds like less work…changing the things you have control over, or trying to change the things you can’t control? Yes, you may never meet someone. But you’ll have done so many great things for yourself that your life will be fulfilling in other ways. Or maybe you will find that great love, only it won’t be exactly how you pictured it, because you’ve opened up your mind and your heart.
You need to open yourself up to the possibilities that lie before you instead of shutting down. That’s what so many women do, and it’s the wrong move. You want to be a quitter? Is that who you are? Is that what you want to look back on at 50? That you just gave up? I can’t imagine a worse fate. I really can’t.
The No-Dating Challenge For Intermediate Players
Don’t Worry About How You’ll Break Up With Her