Are you Trying to Kill Me?
One early morning, a couple weeks ago, I was awaken by a frantic phone call from a girlfriend.
“SG, this dude is trying to kill me?”
“Huh?” I jumped out of my stupor. “Call the police!”
“No, not like bang, bang kill me. His ass is a slipper.”
She’d been seeing this guy for a couple weeks. That night they had what was known as the “we’re going to sleep together tonight” date. He picked her up from her place. She wore a flirty dress and made sure her bra and panties matched. They went to a low key but nice restaurant, sat in the corner, next to each other so they could gaze in one another eyes. She was very hopeful about there being more after she dropped her draws.
Several hours later she’s on my phone, going nuts.
“What is a slipper?”
“This dude slipped the condom off during sex!”
“Oh damn.”
Slippers are the bottom of the barrel, dirty dick bastards who, regardless of the relationship with the woman, wants to go raw. He puts on the condom for you to see but just when it’s getting good he reaches down and slips the condom off. Some woman can tell the difference instantly, others don’t know until there is jizz on their thigh and sheets.
Hasn’t The Slipper heard about a disease called HIV or know how babies are made? What makes them some comfortable risking their lives and the life of their partners. The worst part of Slippers is that they take the option away from the woman. If she wanted to sleep without protection she would have agreed to it if the questions was raised from jump. Instead, like a snake you wait until she turns over for doggystyle, taking that brief moment of readjustment to pull it off.
Foul.
I asked the man gallery about The Slipper. Were they one or did they know of guys who were.
None of them would admit to the act of slippin’ but they gave “what they thought” were the reasons why.
1 – Most Slippers just came out of a long-term relationship
When you have been with someone for a couple years and you just roll over in stick it in with no problems, going back to protected sex makes it hard for you cum. You need to feel the real thing.
2 – Slippers don’t like the feeling of their jizz
“SG, imagine busting one off and having all of your juices entrapped in a plastic wrap stuck on your skin. The sh*t ain’t natural.”
3 – Slippers think they are immune to all disease and if you get knocked up they will deny, deny, deny.
There is no surefire way to detect a Slipper. However, Ladies you can decrease your chances of having a Slipper by holding off on sex
- Until you’ve discussed your stance on birth control (condoms or pills).
- Inquire about their last HIV, STD testing and the results (Sad to say that this isn’t even a fool-proof method)
- Hold conversations discussing pregnancy and STD’s in a non-sexual way.
- Wait until you marry him.
Ladies, if you have been violated by The Slipper, please understand that once a Slipper, always a Slipper. Cuss his ass out, delete his info and immediately set up an appointment with your coochie doctor to run every test possible. Go back again in three to six months too, cause some stuff takes time to appear.
Now, fellas if you are a Slipper do us all a favor and get into a serious relationship were you can plant your seed in someone who wants it.
Catch Him if You Can: The Bait
I’m No Longer Young and Tender
I Know Why Northern Women are Single