A Great Example
I spoke about having a crisis of inner game in my previous Basics Of Game post. I received this email from a reader the other day and decided I would use it for this post. Understand, I get two or three emails a day that are amazingly similar to this one. However, this one just happens to be the perfect example of what a crisis of inner game can look like, so this is the one will use.
I happen to be living in less than comfortable surroundings. In fact I have to say that I feel ashamed of my place at the moment despite all attempts not to and the honest truth that it is not as bad as other people’s places.
This is a major obstacle because I am unable to bring most females(those I think won’t mind the place) over for banging. The lack of confidence causes me to act/think beta and I find myself obsessing over what they think about my place instead of how to dhv, build rapport, kino, etc. Its kind of hard to dhv when living in a dump. Incongruence = bullshit = poon drying.
Hotels, motels, and Holiday inns are also not an option for me due to scarce funds. What’s your advice? Especially for women that still live with their folks?
Then there is the issue of my teeth. My teeth are not quite yellow but far from white, not quite crooked but definitely not colgate straight. Although I make approaches, I’m sure the women can smell the less than 100% confidence with which I do that. I’ve mentally accepted the truths of game, but in the field, once I see a girl look down from my eyes at my teeth, I am reminded of how they look worse than I would like them to and a bit of self-consciousness creeps in. Especially if she’s a hb9.
And what about things like breath? I keep gum or mints on me to make sure I never have the dragon but even then I can’t help but think about it when I get close to broads.
These kind of hangups have caused me to recognize a way of thinking that I think may be common in men who are victims of a beta mindset. The thought is that they must correct all their hangups before they can experience any success with women.
I have come to believe that this is true for as long as the hangup affects your confidence. Women can smell a bullshitter (someone whose presentation of confidence is not congruent with how he truly thinks and feels) and will gun him down ruthlessly.
What’s your advice for dealing with hangups?
This is nothing but a gigantic inner game crisis.
Here’s the real deal with “hangups”
If you don’t give a shit, they wont either. Here’s the thing about this guys, I’m a fat, ugly fucker.
Do I care? Hell no. Granted, I’m trying! I’m starting to eat better, and attempting to force myself into a workout regimen (because this asshole jokes me consistently) but when I’m out to have a good time, that’s all I’m doing! You have to realize, if you try and keep your teeth hidden, or don’t take the chance to bring a chick to your place to bang her, or start worrying that you aren’t tall enough, or any of that bullshit, she’ll start worrying about it all too! The less of a shit you give about everything, the less of a shit she’ll give.
As far as you teeth go, fuck it. Who cares? Maybe use some whitening toothpaste and get a treatment done, but if they aren’t exactly straight it doesn’t matter.
When it comes to your breath – buy mints, pop one in on your way to the club and let it dissolve in your mouth completely, go inside and order your man drink, and then stop giving a damn about your breath. Let me ask you something, when was the last time you were close to someone and talking and you could smell their breath? I honestly can’t remember the last time I could smell someone’s breath, even when I was close to them and talking. Chances are, if you can’t smell their breath, they can’t smell yours. You should be brushing your teeth two or three times a day anyway, and that plus using a well timed mint and a mask of alcohol, your breath should be straight. Even if it’s not, she’s drunk anyway and will most likely never notice.
When it comes to living in a shithole – just make sure the inside of your place is clean, the furniture isn’t gross, and things look orderly. Keep your kitchen clean, dishes washed and put away, floor swept. Keep your carpets vacuumed, your clothes hung up, your counters and tables dusted. Go for leather furniture over cloth because it looks cleaner and is, in fact, easier to clean (I rock white leather couches). Hang up some wall art, for the love of God. Find a cool painting or two that you absolutely love and hang it up, son! Chicks love a man that has his place put together. Besides that, if you place is neat and orderly and looks nice on the inside, she will forget that just outside your doors are ghetto.
I know you’re going to tell me that you can’t afford new furniture – that’s fine. Just make sure your place is neat and clean. Don’t worry about it if you live with your parents – a lot of kids these days are moving back in with their parents. If your roommates can’t keep their space clean, and you aren’t the lessee (thus can’t kick them out), you always have the option of going back to her place.
My point is, all of these situations are easily overcome. None of this should be costing you guys your notches – seriously. This stuff is really no big deal! If you stop worrying about the little things, and instead focus on giving her a good conversation and displaying the right value at the right time, you’ll get laid. It’s about confidence! Stop giving a damn that your barber shaved off half your eyebrow, and go slam 3 new chicks!
Remember: If you don’t care, she wont care.
I deal with hangups by simply failing to care about them. Everyone has problems! Ignore them, assume her problems are worse, and move on! You can’t get so wrapped up in all these little things that you keep missing bangs. Unless someone tells you that your breath is awful, or that your teeth look like garbage because of a piece of food stuck in them, assume that everything is fine and dandy and move on. If you want, when you take a piss you can feel free to give yourself a quick check – but don’t analyze! Look for the big stuff and then get moving! You aren’t going to get laid by worrying about stupid trivialities like whether or not she likes your teeth.
She is either interested in you and, therefore, wants to have sex with you, or she isn’t. Get your notch and move on. Let the trivial things go.
Good luck guys, go out this weekend and kill it.
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