Why Do You Date Online?
A conversation with my friend last night got me to thinking about online dating and why people continue to use it.
He shared that he thought online dating was the best way to start dating again after his divorce. Then, on my request, he started to share some stories from his days on Nerve.com. Now, Nerve.com is pretty much a hook up site. It’s the OKCupid of early days. I knew I was in for some stories that primarily revolved around sex and little more. And that’s what I got. But then, that’s online dating in general, isn’t it?
A few weeks ago my friend B. sent me a link to a Match.com profile written by a 28 year old woman here in Manhattan. It was basically her Match Swan Song. She expressed her utter frustration with her experience, citing all the creeps and weirdos she had met. She implored the people who were reading her ad not to respond because she was no longer taking applicants.
The stories of all the bad dates just seem to double by the day. Blogs pop up wherein women and men discuss and pick apart their experiences. People tweet out their ire every day on Twitter.
Yet…we still seem dependent upon it. Why? Is it due to an overall reliance upon technology and instant gratification?
Or…have the majority of singles just given up on ever finding anyone and have settled for/are only comfortable with having a series of one off dates and casual relationships?
Is online dating primarily used by people who aren’t emotionally available at all, but think they are? Is that why those sites are heavily populated by people we’ve all seen on various sites, month after month, year after year?
My personal opinion is that online dating and social media are prime contributors to the change in dating and relationships as a whole. And not in a good way. It’s made us more suspicious, more impatient, more picky and exacerbated the fear that so many of us have that we’re not good enough for anyone. Online dating has also completely enabled those who have no intention of every settling down with anyone, be it by choice or because other underlying factors are holding them back. My feeling is those sites are full of time wasters.
Your thoughts?
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