The Importance of Subtext..Or… How To Tell If He’s a Douche
NYCGal, the woman who submitted this letter, has checked in and told us that the man from her post has followed up with her. Here’s what she said:
Hi, OP here. Thank you all for the feedback. And special thanks to W07 on the ellipses comment. I re-read my post and you are right that I used it a lot and it is very annoying. Now Ill def be more aware of that!
So, a couple of days passed by. Guy didnt respond so I thought ok, whatever. A couple of hours ago I got an email from him.Here it is:
Hi Y,
It would be nice if we could meet this weekend. I am busy on Friday night (my best friend celebrates his graduation) and Saturday at daytime (I participate at some charity event organized by my employer). Saturday night I don’t know yet (depends on whether my friend has something else planned for his graduation party), but Sunday I should definitely be all free.
What is your schedule?
X
________________
Im not sure about this guy anymore. I think after reading everyones feedback Ive sort of lost interest in this guy. Plus for the first time even I feel rejected due to my age!!! I cant believe Im already in an undesirable age bracket. Its pretty depressing. I rather be home relaxing on my Sunday with a glass of wine instead of getting all dulled up for a date that is not going anywhere.
He firsts suggest you meet “this weekend.” Then he goes in to detail about how he’s not quite available this weekend at all. He’s only available Sunday. Once again, the controlling side of his personality rears its head. As does the self-important side. He goes in to great detail about his super busy calendar and his charity work. Basically he’s letting you know he has more important things to do on Friday and Saturday, is super busy, but could possibly squeeze you in Sunday. Funny how he has tons to say about himself, but still can’t manage to ask you anything or talk about you.
Here’s my real two cents. Men who need this many words to say something that can be summed up in a sentence usually just like the sound of their own voices. How about “I’m busy Friday and Saturday but could do Sunday. And you?” Done. And since I’m feeling particularly ranty, let me take another huge leap and totally project my annoyance and cynicism.
This guy is ridiculously impressed with himself. Know why he asked your age? Because you didn’t look “young enough” for him. He’s 34 but doesn’t want to date anyone over 29, and it’s a sticking point for him. He couldn’t even be bothered to exchange an email or two full of surface pleasantries. He wanted to know your age so he didn’t waste his time. This guy has a type, and he sticks to it.
He didn’t even bother to offer any semblance of a real greeting in his follow up email. No “Hope you’re well” or “How are you?” Nope. He just went right in to tell you what he wanted.
Le Douche.
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