Things Heterosexual Men Do That Make Me Want To Ask: ARE YOU GAY?
This is a special post for the immature men that are in our lives. Yes there are some good brothas out there but for every 1 that is good there are at least 4 or 5 that are not. This list is dedicated to the brotha that exhibits gay behavior but considers himself heterosexual. I’m not talking about wearing pink. It is deeper than appearance on so many levels. Not every man who exhibits these behaviors is necessarily gay but it certainly makes me want to ask them. There of course is nothing wrong with being gay but it trips me out when heterosexual man behave in this way and then expect for me to not question them.
1. You consistently put your friend’s needs before your woman‘s simply because she is a woman.
Obviously, no man can fulfill his woman’s every need and desires constantly. No rationale woman should ask for that. I am referring to men who feel that their woman’s needs should always come secondary to those of his friends. Realistically no woman should expect to comes first on every single occasion but that does not mean that she should accept being dead last on the list always either. With all things there needs to be a balance. Her being a female is not a good enough reason for her to be secondary in your life. Positions of importance in one’s life should be earned not distributed based on gender.
2. You woman bash… CONSTANTLY
Both sexes bash the other on occasion. It is expected and it is in human nature. We have bad experiences with each other and we sometimes bash in order to vent. I am referring to men who constantly have negative commentary in regards to women. Their machismo will not allow them to speak highly of women or to see them in a positive light at all. Every woman” ain’t s**t” in their book and is disposable. These type of men are also unable to even refer to them by the term “women” instead they call them “bit**es”. Doing this helps to devalue women in their minds and make them less human in their eyes. You might also hear a slew of other sunshine phrases about women like: “bit**es ain’t”, “f**k these bi**hes”, “I don’t need some b**h” and “Hoes are this and that”. Bet he makes his Mom proud.
3. You would rather spend more time with your homies than your woman
I understand and respect that men enjoy spending time with their boys. I also understand the camaraderie among them and how it is deeply appreciated by them. I often wish that more women could display a sisterly love for one another. I also think that both men and women should be entitled to maintaining their friendships with other people even if they are committed to someone. However, when you get to the point where you would rather spend more time around men than with your woman then I have to question your sexuality. Fellas, if you are with a woman who makes you want to run away from her because she nags you, drives you crazy, makes you unhappy, etc then maybe she is not the woman for you. I am mentioning this because men always come with the lame excuse that their girl makes them not want to be around them, stresses them, and how they have more fun/feel more comfortable with their boys. Well honey, you are supposed to be able to have fun and enjoy spending time with your significant other. You should not be outside the door of your house shivering with the key in your hands, because you don’t want to go in and have to deal with “her”. If you feel uncomfortable and unhappy around her then do her and yourself the favor of moving on to someone else. Chances are she is not that happy with you’re a** either. I’m just saying…
4. You are more affectionate with your homies
If you are more inclined to be more affectionate with your homies than your girl because you feel like you should only show her affection if it involves sex or that showing her too much affection makes you somehow appear to be weak or like a simp then yes… I am going to ask you if you like boys? Your homies might also. There are only so many slaps on the ass during a basketball game and long tender embraces that they are going to accept before they want to know if you prefer boys.
5. You are overall nicer to your boys than women
Some men think that being too nice to a woman or treating her good will make them appear to be weak or soft. When in actuality, you simply are being a gentleman and treating her as a man should treat a woman. Yes there are some women who do not appreciate a man treating them well and would rather chase after a man that treats them like s**t. I refer to these women as “simple chickens”. Those women are fools and should be avoided like the plague. Don’t allow one bad experience with a simple woman make you be a monster in your interactions with women for the rest of your life.
6. You let Rap music go to your head
Rap music gets a bad rep for being misogynistic and let’s be honest, it often times is. I am a huge fan of Rap music and even I can admit that. Fellas, don’t interpret the lyrics that you hear in a song as being your reality. Not every woman you meet is a “bitch”, “hoe”, “slut,” “bopper”, “bust it baby” , “bussa“, (my personal favorite). This means that not every woman should be treated as one. Differentiate the type of woman that you are dealing with and treat her as an individual. Refuse to be a simple minded man. Don’t allow these rappers to make you miss out on a good woman because you want to be like Plies when you grow up. Ugh… (shudders). Why in the world would you want to?
7. You are unable to have an adult relationship
They say men are behind the curve in maturity and I tend to agree with that. However, if you are over the age of 26, 27, and have never and or are unable to have an adult relationship with at last one woman then there might be a deeper reason behind that. You should invest the time into doing some soul searching. Not every woman is bad or out to get you so it can’t ALWAYS be their fault. What are you doing wrong? Are you really that interested in females? Think about it.
8. You are unwilling to open yourself up emotionally to your woman
This is for the fellas that are unwilling to let their woman know how much he loves her because again it makes him feel weak or soft yet he has no problem hugging and shouting out his homies. Perplexing isn’t it? You would think that the man would be more willing to express his emotions and love to the person that is constantly there for him, that is taking care of him, feeding him, washing his clothes and is most intimate with. But no… Some men still have an issue with opening up to this person because this person has a vagina. They feel that by expressing their feelings to her, it would make them appear soft or that perhaps she would try to take advantage of him. Again, yes there are immature women who might do that but again… That means that you have not found the right woman. Why in the world should you be more willing to express your love and appreciation to your boys than your woman and think that she should not question your sexuality? I always thought 1 plus 1 equaled 2. Did something change?
Doing these things will lead me to ask a self proclaimed heterosexual male… ARE YOU GAY?
“Don’t be mad. I’m only being real”- Tupac
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